around here lately: psalm 34:18

i'd read it and heard it approximately a million times, and thank God. because when i needed His closeness and my spirits were crushed, this truth was imprinted deep in my heart. 

the Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
-psalm 34:18

and now those words in psalm 34:18 mean so much more to me than ever. i have experienced that closeness and that rescue and can attest to it's realness. 

in january of 2015, we noticed our Boxer, Brindi, had an open sore on her neck. it was my daughter's birthday and we had family in town but still i took the dog to the vet to have it checked out. nothing to be concerned about, the doctor gave us some doggy antibiotics and told us to keep an eye on it.

my husband and i adopted Brindi in 2003 from a shelter in Denver, Colorado, instead of taking a honeymoon. she was our "first baby" as they say. and when we brought home our actual first baby, Brindi owned her role in the family as loving companion, gentle playmate, and attentive guardian. our family grew, and Brindi was the loyal, spunky, watchful, and loving "big sister."

the sore never went away. by september, we had been to the vet a half a dozen times and the sore on Brindi's neck had grown to the size of a softball. a benign tumor that should shrink with antibiotics. but it didn't. in january of 2016, the bump was now the size of Brindi's head. the tumor was heavy and we could tell it was slowing Brindi down. we noticed she was losing weight and she seemed to be always thirsty. after a thorough exam and an appointment with a surgeon, we learned that the tumor was starving Brindi of her nutrients and, while it was benign, it was slowly killing her. surgery to remove the tumor was too risky- Brindi was almost 98 years old in doggy years and the tumor was in a precarious place on her neck. our only option was to wait it out and give her the best last days.

on february 21, our sweet Brindi went to sleep in her crate and woke up in heaven. it is one of the hardest things our family has ever faced: losing our beloved pet. we're grieving still, missing her daily, and holding tight to all of the memories with her from the past 14 years. our lovable, smart, and silly four-legged 80-pound baby is gone. it's so hard.

back in january, before i could have known this would happen, i chose my word of the year to be strength and began to study psalm 34:18. God is so good. i didn't know but He does. i have whispered and prayed psalm 34:18 repeatedly in the past 30 days. He knew i would need to know psalm 34:18. He knew i would need to know His strength.

i can say with all certainty this is true: God is close to the brokenhearted and rescues those whose spirits are crushed. 

Brindi

8/16/2002 - 2/21/2016