this little tattered note blocked my view in the mirror every day for about eight months. Lord, fill every seat and fill every heart. it was my constant prayer for Declare 2014.
God answered my prayer. exceeding abundantly above all i could ask or think.
250. that was the number, the target, the goal that (i thought) would indicate success. and when we didn't quite fill 250 seats, i was humbled to realize the number of ticket sales didn't matter. what God really wanted me to see was the women who were there, rather than the number of women who weren't.
we followed the calling. was every heart filled? yes. did we point to Jesus? yes.
we witnessed hearts turning, changing, softened. we heard stories of God moving. His presence was undeniable and rich. we opened our feeble hands and surrendered to His will and He took over Declare, a conference-turned-catalyst for wild obedience. wild obedience that we might never see.
it didn't matter that i'm a "haphazard blogger" and not an event planner and completely unqualified to host a blog conference. we were obedient. we answered a call and took one step at a time toward God, compelled to bring women together with a common medium to glorify Him and make Him known. it wasn't ever about me or kristin or heather or michelle. it was always about Jesus.
i stood on the stage on the last night of declare, raw with a desire to be anonymous, speaking into the microphone. we had been taught well all weekend- graphics, blog design, SEO, social media, writing, publishing, photography - but so much more than that. we were taught to love and give and serve and trust and surrender and worship.
i stood in my kitchen the day after declare, raw with a desire to be obedient, making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for my kids. this song was stuck in my head and i felt like God dedicated it to me.
"These dreams started singing to me out of nowhere
and all my life I don't know that I've ever felt so alive...
Here we are now with the falling sky and the rain - We're awakening!
Here we are now with the desperate youth and pain - We're awakening!
Maybe it's called ambition, but you've been talking in your sleep about a dream we're awakening." // switchfoot: awakening {click to listen}
it's true declare was never in my plans or my dream for my life. (as if i have any say in it- ha!) so when this dream started singing to me out of nowhere, and i followed it out of wild obedience, it felt like an awakening. it feels like an awakening. and i wanna wake up kicking and screaming.
there is a new prayer taped onto my bathroom mirror blocking my view today. it's a direct response to my heart's filling at Declare 2014: Lord, keep me deeply rooted in You.
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| {image source: jess connolly} |
